'My body felt like it was in a vice grip. I stood there as the familiar feeling of being completely overwhelmed, panicked and ashamed took me over. I was standing in my basement, staring at an accumulation of so much "stuff," I could barely move. I even had "stuff" packed in the rafters. My stomach turned at the site, and more than anything, I wanted to do what I've always done. Shut the door and walk away. But on this day, I didn't walk away. This day was different. On this day, I made a single decision that changed my life. This same decision could very well change your life, too.
I started to count it all, and then I lost count. Over two thousand psychology and self-help books, one hundred ninety-seven VHS tapes with titles ranging from "It's A Wonderful Life" to "Tamilee Web's Abs of Steel," forty-five extra pairs of high heels, fifteen mamoth-size boxes of Christmas lights and nick nacks, thirteen flower vases, five extra couches, four cozy antique chairs waiting to be reupholsterd, three shelves of dusty white binders filled with "brilliant" college papers from the 80's, three vegetable peelers, two dining room bureaus and one extra Christmas tree, just in case.
You get the picture.
CLEARING OUT THE CLUTTER BEGINS
I knew that my stuff wasn't really the problem. It was the thinking underlying the stuff I had to marshall the courage to get iin touch with. So I asked myself a challenging question, "What in the world drove me to buy and hoard all of this stuff in the first place?"
My first thought was that I had been hypnotized, hook, line and sinker, by the world of materialism, the world of more. On some level--and without consciously realizing it--I believed that the more stuff I had, the more secure I'd be. OK. I could live with that. That made sense.
As I dug deeper into the thoughts that led to this massive accumulation, I realized (much to my horror) that I also wanted you to walk through my home and admire my stuff so that you would see me as successful and marvel at how a single woman raising a son on her own could possibly afford all this stuff. (Yuck. Eww. It was everything I could do to refrain myself from stepping in front of a yellow school bus when this realization hit me.)
And then the final epiphany, the one that really sent me reeling. I had fallen head over heels in love with the romantic, beautiful, and ever-elusive illusion of "someday." Someday, I'll throw a big party and might need that rose-colored antique bowl. Someday, I'll reupholster those chairs. Someday, I'm going to use those books as reference material for the book I haven't started, but will eventually write.
Someday.
The word haunted me. It owned me. And on this day, I was so sickened at the sound of it echoing in my brain that I just... couldn't... take it... anymore. If you've ever hit the wall with a realization about yourself that is less than pleasant, you know what I'm talking about.
THE DECISION THAT CHANGED MY LIFE
So, I did the only thing that made any sense. I made a decision. And that decision was simple. I launched a frontal assault on the word "someday" and eliminated it from my vocabulary. Period.
Someday didn't really exist anyway. It was just an illusion that I conveniently kept alive so that I never had to really commit to anything. SOMEDAY was always OUT THERE, enabling me to pretend that one day, I would eventually do what I said I was going to do.
Someday kept me safe.
Someday kept me in La-La Land.
Someday never demanded that I risk anything.
Someday corrupted the integrity of my word.
Someday kept big dreams alive on nothing more than life support.
The word was suffocating me, and more than anything, I just wanted to breathe and be free.
SAYING GOODBYE TO SOMEDAY
It's been four weeks and four truckloads of "stuff" later, and the feeling of freedom that surrounds me as I write these words is beyond words.
The kennel that once housed my beloved Golden Retriever "Ben" who passed on more than five years ago is now in the hands of the Animal Rescue League. You should have seen the beaming smile on the volunteer's face when I handed it to her. "Oh my God, thank you!" she said. "You have no idea how much we needed this." The crib, changing table, baby stroller, clothes, playpen and high chair that I was saving for my "someday second child" are now in the hands of an organization dedicated to helping financially strapped women provide for their children. The books are now the property of Purple Heart and the Pontiac Library. The rest of the stuff has been freely given to charities throughout Michigan, being enjoyed and appreciated by men, women and children that need it, now more than ever.
For me, the lessons have been nothing short of profound and life-changing and I share the following with you in the sincere hope that they help to set you on a path of freedom from which there is no turning back. Here's a few of those lessons for you to ponder:
1. I am not my stuff.
2. I do not need you to admire my stuff any longer. In fact, I don't need you to admire me at all.
3. Stuff is meant to be used, enjoyed and released with joy.
4. Stuff isn't supposed to be covered in plastic or coveted in the basement. Pull out your crystal vases and Grandmother's china and throw a barbeque.
5. Stuff can never create a true sense of security. It does, however, create a lot of clutter.
6. The need to hoard stuff is a symptom of an underlying belief in "not enoughness." The truth is, supply is infinite and endless.
7. Releasing stuff feels good.
8. Getting rid of the thoughts that cause you to buy the stuff in the first place feels even better.
Today's Meditation
It is with great joy and a free mind that I release my material possessions into the world.
The natural and effortless law of giving and receiving is now flowing in my life, and I welcome its accompanying soft, cool breeze.
I am so happy and grateful to know that who I am has never had anything to do with what I accumulate.
I now celebrate the truth that my sense of security now comes from knowing who I am and the true origin of all good and plentiful things.
I willingly let you see me clearly, to love and accept me for me, knowing that this is enough.
I am now free of any thoughts of lack, limitation and scarcity.
Abundance is my birthright, and living in flow brings me peace.
I now live in a beautiful home.
It is simple. It is clean. It is filled only with things that bring me joy.
It reflects my mind.
I am free."You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32 '
Written by and through Cheri Najor (with a little help from her friend). For coaching or speaking services, you can contact Cheri at
Cheri@LittleMissPositive.com or visit her website at
http://www.kreativnrg.com/
